why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
