when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
