everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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