I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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