Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
