His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
