Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
