fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
