Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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