There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
