carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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