I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
