Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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