You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
