I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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