does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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