I accidentally burped into my bong.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
