we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize