And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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