I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
