When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
