wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
