Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
