He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
two words: eviction party
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I checked into jail on foursquare
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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