You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Dick very happy bro
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
