Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
