PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
