He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
