Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I want to make a zoo with you.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
