Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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