i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
