Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I think I just sharted jello shots
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
