So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
