why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
