.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Woke up backwards on a recliner
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
