her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Boobs speak an international language.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
