be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
