She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
