what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
