i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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