I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
