I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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