u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
