Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The convent might be a nice break from real life
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
