im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
