Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
