It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
