Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize