I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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