You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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