No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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