I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
