I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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