my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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