You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
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