I'm gonna have a badass scar
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
