So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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