They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I stole a fireplace last night.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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