I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I smell stomach acid.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
