Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
