dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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