I can tuck mytits in my pants
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
This house was built for laser tag.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
