yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
